At first glance, the picture above just looks like a beautiful garden.
On closer inspection, one realizes this is a graveyard that is well tended with plantings of perennial plants and decorated with things like a lantern.
The caretakers of this graveyard are showing care and love in memory of their ancestors.
- What might the stories of these families be before their ancestors passed?
- What if the remaining family members had years of conflict between them prior to the funeral?
- How might these families have behaved at the funeral, given their history of conflict?
- What can we learn from Genesis 25:9-10 about setting aside family conflict at these times?
Isaac and Ishmael, his sons, buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron, the son of Zohar the Hittite, east of Mamre, 10 the field that Abraham purchased from the Hittites. There Abraham was buried, with Sarah, his wife. (Gen 25:9 ESV)
Personally, I have seldom traversed a graveyard.
But, since I work for a church, I frequently observe families coming in to plan funerals for their loved ones and have attended many of these funerals as well.
It is heartbreaking when we see families in conflict with each other when it is important to honor their deceased family member.
Scripture reveals to us in Gen 25:9 that Isaac and Ishmael, two half-brothers, came together to honor their father Abraham at the time of his death.
That they came together for this burial is surprising, given Ishmael’s documented attitude toward Isaac.
Who was Ishmael?
Ishmael was Abraham’s son through his concubine, Hagar. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, had given Hagar to Abraham, hoping to secure offspring for Abraham since she had yet to bear a child for him. Once Hagar realized she was pregnant by Abraham, she despised Sarah. (See Gen 16:3-4).
Sarah reacted to Hagar with such harsh treatment in return that Hagar fled from her. (See Gen 16:6).
The Lord intervenes with Hagar with a promise of His plans for the child she is carrying:
9 The angel of the LORD said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.”
10 The angel of the LORD also said to her, “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.”
11 And the Angel of the Lord said to her, “Behold, you are pregnant and shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael because the LORD has listened to your affliction.
12 He shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all his kinsmen.” (Gen 16:9-12 ESV)
What type of man will Ishmael be?
We learn more about the Lord’s plans for Ishmael after Abraham expresses concern for him:
20“As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly. He shall father twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation. 21 But I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this time next year. (Gen 17:20-21 ESV)
If Abraham shared this news with Ishmael, how might he have reacted, given the type of man the Lord described in Gen 16:12 above?
Consider what Abraham did next at God’s command:
Then Abraham took Ishmael his son and all those born in his house or bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham’s house, and he circumcised the flesh of their foreskins that very day, as God had said to him. 24 Abraham was ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. 25 And Ishmael, his son, was thirteen years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. (Gen 17:23-25 ESV)
Abraham and Ishmael were both old enough to feel and remember the pain of circumcision.
In contrast, Isaac’s circumcision occurred when he was eight days old. (See Gen 21:4). Young enough that he would not remember the pain.
How might this have affected Ishmael’s character development? List both positive and negative options.
What about Isaac’s character development? List both positive and negative options.
Later, Sarah observes Ishmael mocking Isaac and insisted Hagar and Ishmael get cast out to protect Isaac. (See Gen 21:9-10).
After consulting God, Abraham sends Hagar and Ishmael away with some bread and a single skin of water into the wilderness. (See Gen 21:11-14).
Once again, God intervenes to encourage Hagar and Ishmael. He hears their cries, gives them instructions on what to do next, and continues to be with them. (See Gen 21:17-21).
Did Hagar and Ishmael’s attitudes towards Isaac and Sarah play a role in their being sent away? Why or why not?
After Ishmael and Hagar get sent away, Isaac experiences almost being sacrificed in a burnt offering to the Lord as a test of Abraham’s obedience (See Gen 22) and sometime later marries Rebekah. (See Gen 24).
After we are told of Abraham’s death in Genesis 25:7-8, we learn:
Isaac and Ishmael, his sons buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron, the son of Zohar the Hittite, east of Mamre, (Gen 25:9 ESV)
Describe how both Isaac and Ishmael may have felt.
What is the point of them burying Abraham together?
What else do we learn about Ishmael after Abraham’s death? (See Gen 25:12-18).
Based on Genesis 25:12-18, do you think Isaac and Ishmael reunited at Abraham’s burial or only activated a brief truce to honor their father? Why or why not?
Personal Reflection Questions:
What family members or friends of your own came to mind as you studied today? Why?
Describe when a difficult relationship of yours was reconciled. Include the status of this relationship now.
Describe a relationship of yours that has remained civil at important moments but never fully reconciled.
Is it okay to not fully reconcile some relationships? Why or why not? (See also Romans 12:18).
Final Thoughts:
Consider these words from a prayer of Jesus:
18 As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19 And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth. 20 I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. (Joh 17:18-21 ESV)
Our relationships are on display to everyone else around us.
As far as it depends on you, what relationships do you need to offer reconciliation toward? Why or why not?
Do you think that some relationships will never reconcile on this side of heaven? Why or why not?
Is it appropriate to offer a truce in a relationship conflict, even for a short time? Why or why not?
Blessings,
Barbara Lynn